Category: Chicks with Ticks Manual


Well, there you all are wondering what the hell is going on. You’re probably saying, “Jacque, we almost gave up on you. What’s going on?” I’m here. I always have been. But the truth of the matter is just this simple – HEY _ I’M A REAL LIVE PERSON AND LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS SOMETIMES.

Good news is, I know the recipe for lemonade – I also know how to stick lemons in my bra so it makes my boobs look bigger, or how to squeeze those lemons in the faces of my enemies! So, here we go.funny-when-life-gives-you-lemons-squeeze-them-in-peoples-eyes-pictures

It all starts with a problem. Of course, as a scientisty type gal, I usually love this part – it’s the part where I get to be creative, intuitive, intelligent, heroic, and cool. But this time – not so much. You see, I like problems that have solutions. It seems that, so far as I know, the problems life can throw don’t always have solutions. Sometimes you just gotta ride the thing out, take the hits, and walk away with the bruises and wisdom that you’re made of some pretty tough stuff.

So I wanted to share with anyone (I’m sure we all know someone like this) who is having a life problem that seems to have no solution and no end in sight.

  1. Be a man (well, not literally, but figuratively – we know women are stronger lol)
  2. Once the crisis is over – it won’t hurt so much – if it does, you are probably fooling yourself and it’s not quite over – brace yourself
  3. There are legal ways to make people disappear – seriously – of course they all involve lots of money but hey – you never know right
  4. Not everything is your fault – even if other people say so – what the heck do they know anyway
  5. Yoga – Yogi – or YoYo – any one of these three things will either relax you, screw with your mind, confuse you until you forget your problems, totally baffle you, or keep you entertained until the damned string gets all wonky and it won’t go up and down like it used to and the problem passes
  6. Think of worse things that have happened – unless of course this makes you feel worse – in that case – refer to number 6yy
  7. Ask for help or support – you’re really not alone. Well, you can always email or message me if you are alone and I will apologize for number 7
  8. Break the problem up into smaller problems – I know this sounds crazy, but once you do this – some of the smaller ones become solvable and then the main problem smaller – this is a trick I learned from being in the wilds so long….then you can always ignore the leftover problem – leave it for someone else to solve when they take over your job lol
  9. Deny there is a problem – Oh, no, this won’t help but it does delay the inevitable…refer to number 6 again
  10. Suck it up Buttercup – best advice ever from my dear Mr. Jeff Davis – all time champion of telling it like it is

So, I know this might not solve all the problems, that’s not my job lol. That’s your job….and believe it not, rule number 10 is the quickest way to get through it – of course, number 6 is still my all time favorite.

If you want, print this list out and post it near the copier, engine of your old car, laundry room, Dr. office, dramatic family member’s Facebook – or wherever you think it will do the most good…..of course, as always – One last resort – go outside, take a deep breath, Hey sucker – you’re alive!

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Itchy and Scratchy

That’s right, I’m itchy….and scratchy. No, silly, not the cartoon characters from The Simpsons….SERIOUSLY! I have discovered what happens when you wear far too many layers in the hot Florida sun.

Image result

Prickly heat – heat rash – or whatever you wanna call it! I was trying to be smarter than the average nerd working out in the Florida sun (104 degrees). I wore layers so that I could shed them as I needed. Only problem, you know me, I got caught up in my work and forgot to shed layers.

So, instead, I have this amazingly sexy rash ALL OVER! I hate to admit it – but now is the perfect time – I was wrong! Yep, make your calendars folks and watch the icebergs grow – cause Hell just froze over. I was totally wrong to even think for one moment that I was going to remember my clothes.

“Why, Jacque? Why would you forget something so important to most gals?” Well, I am definitely NOT most gals. SO, while I was busy looking at my survey gear and constructing a designed creek plan, I just wandered around in way too many clothes.

So, lesson for the day, wear the minimum and bring the maximum. Pack it and keep it handy. Remember, weather changes all over the world at any time! Even MyRadar can be wrong….so make sure you have what you need to stay cool, warm, dry, bug free, sun free, and safe! If you aren’t sure, pack more! If you don’t need it, so be it – but if you don too much or pack too little, you might get caught in a storm, or you just might get heat rash!

For those who are unfamiliar, heat rash is simply sweat trapped under your skin. Sounds harmless…

Image result for heat rash

Now, someone give me some tips for how to treat it!! PLEASE…

 

I know, I know – you’re thinking, “Jacque, why has it been so very long since your last post?” Well, I am here to tell you….because SO MUCH HAS BEEN GOING ON!!

I would love to catch you guys up, but as this is the week of Thanksgiving, I though I will, instead, give you guys some very helpful tips on how an outdoor adventurer survives the FAMILY THANKSGIVING!! So, here we go…

  1. Wear comfy pants – and by comfy I don’t mean a little roomy – I mean a LOT. This is for your comfort and to protect anyone else from flying buttons.
  2. Don’t wait until the last minute to ask “What can I bring?” because you are going to get hit with the UGH list…mashed potatoes are yummy – but making 50 pounds takes muscles, sweat, and quite frankly a mixer you don’t have….so, opt for something simple.
  3. Do NOT – under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES say to an elderly family member “Wow, I didn’t know you were still with us.” Won’t go over well.
  4. Sit quickly. You worked really hard not to sit at that kid table. You know, the one where everyone thinks it’s funny to show chewed up food. Grab that seat!
  5. No matter what, offer to help clean up. Even if you don’t mean it. Then, when the hostess inevitably says, “Oh, that’s okay.” Go relax with some pie. I mean – you gave the chance right?
  6. If there is turkey and ham – eat both. Just in case one is awful. Turkey is like wine – it takes years to perfect. Young cooks often dry out the turkey. Ham, well, it’s technically already cooked so all you have to do is really heat it up. Good choice!
  7. DO NOT GET DRUNK. This will end badly. Maybe not on this day, but I promise your family will never stop talking about the Thanksgiving So-and-so got smashed. And, you will forever be labelled the sot. Not something you want brought up when they are REALLY mad at you.
  8. Football is – well, football. Engage your family, but if you are a fan, find a sneaky way to be excused out of conversations so you can catch the game without making them feel offended. Like…start a conversation of interest with a gabber and then walk quietly away.
  9. Eat, eat, rest, eat, rest, dessert. Firsts, seconds, rest, nibbles, rest, then BIG dessert.
  10. Lastly, and most importantly, give thanks. Go around and thank each person for who and what they are in your life. Life is often too short. I am reminded of that each day now. Hugs and sincere sharing of fond memories and truly connecting will go a long way.

So, if you think you just CAN’T make it through the whole thing, pawn off that you have to share with your partner, spouse, or significant other…that works too!

Happy Thanksgiving! I am truly thankful that you read this blog, share with your friends, and support everyone Getting Outside and doing 

As Jacque mentioned in previous posts, our team has gone through lots of changes (and challenges) over the past year. I’m sorry for my long absence, but it’s been difficult for me to dig out the words I’d like to say. For now, I will simply say that I dearly miss my fellow Chicks with Ticks and think of them often and fondly.

 

photoWhat inspired me to come out of blog hiding is that I had the opportunity to visit some wonderful preservation lands the other day, and I wanted to share! I recently joined the Board of Directors of a central Florida-based land trust, called Green Horizon Land Trust. *Note: this is a volunteer position, I have not changed jobs* For those of you who don’t know what a land trust is, it’s a non-profit organization whose goal is to protect land from being developed by putting it under conservation (either fully by purchase/donation or partially by easement). The Nature Conservancy is an example of a very large, international land trust who many are probably familiar with. The land trust I’m now a part operates at a much smaller, more local scale– but it still makes a big impact!

 

photo3The preservation lands I visited were small parcels that you may never even realize are right there in your own community. They had trails winding through wetland and upland habitat types, exposing one to a wide diversity of plant species. Benches were located along the trails to provide a space to relax and observe wildlife (we saw swallow-tailed kites and gopher tortoises) and stunning vistas (lakes and the famous Bok Tower). Some even had geocaches hidden away, hoping to be discovered.

 

photo2I encourage all of you out there to not only enjoy your state and national parks, but to also enjoy smaller scale preservation lands like county nature parks and land trust holdings that may be practically in your backyard. They might just be the best places to see wild things since they aren’t on most people’s radar!

 

ps -The blackberries are ripe for picking in the Florida wilds right now!! (more on that to come)

 

 

As a follow-up to our previous post, I think it’s appropriate to give a little lesson on what to do if you find lightningyourself stuck in a lightning storm. Which is exactly where my husband and I, along with another couple, found ourselves a couple of weekends ago.

We were canoeing the Little Manatee River. It was a beautiful day, and everyone seemed to actually be interested in me talking about wetland inundation and pointing out various tree species. But then it started to sprinkle. That was nice because it was HOT. But then it started to pour. And then we saw some flashes with some rumbling in the distance. We started to get a little nervous when all hell broke loose with STRIKES and BOOMS right on top of us! Just our luck, we were in a METAL canoe in the middle of nowhere.

We decided it would be safer to be out of the canoe than in it. We pulled up onto a bank, and I remembered some safety training we had once had regarding what to do if you get stuck in the middle of nowhere during a lightning storm. Basically you bend over with your butt up in the air and grab your ankles from behind. Obviously this sounds and looks ridiculous, but the idea is that if lightning hits you it will travel through your butt and down your legs rather than through your heart. So with that comforting piece of information, the four of us were hunched with our bums in the air! If only I had a picture…

It was probably the scariest outdoor experience I have ever had (up there with almost stepping on an

We survived!

We survived!

alligator). After each strike we would count the seconds to the thunder, and sometimes we didn’t even get to one. It was over us for what seemed like forever, and our legs were getting so sore from hunching over, but it was the only sense of security we had to get us through the horror! Eventually the clashes grew further apart and it was safe enough to get back into the canoe and haul bum to our pick-up point. There were others who also survived the storm, even though they didn’t know about the sticking the butt up in the air thing. That’s what we get for paddling on a summer afternoon in Florida. The canoe rental place sure must think we are all a bunch of idiots, but at least they are making some money off of us!

Cool *dry* shirt we bought from the Outpost

Cool *dry* shirt we bought from the Outpost

We can’t wait to go back since we didn’t get a chance to try out the rope swing. If you’re interested in paddling the Little Manatee, the Canoe Outpost was a great outfitter. You can visit their website here: http://www.canoeoutpost.com/littlemanateeriver.html

peace river

Peace River overbank

I’m sitting here on my couch because my softball game got POURED OUT for the 4th freaking week in a row. Our Suwannee River work got cancelled because the river is too high. Alafia River State Park isn’t renting out canoes because the overbank flows are unsafe (though a friend of mine went anyways and almost tipped his kayak and lost his quite expensive camera in the process). It’s normal to get afternoon thunderstorms in Florida during the summer, but this is too much!

A few months ago, Jacque and I were driving home from assessing some swamps in Arcadia and she said something to the extent of “those thistles look funny, it’s going to be a REALLY wet summer.” I know this girl has intuition, but really? Can you really tell it’s going to be a wet summer because some spiky plants look funny?! So I made a mental note, half hoping there would be a drought so I could make fun of her. She even put her predictions in writing (https://chicks-with-ticks.com/2013/06/05/something-in-the-air/) so I would have proof if she denied saying it!

marsh

Wet marsh

Well, turns out Jacque should have placed a bet – because she would have hit the jackpot! We have just been pummeled with rain. Overall, the Florida peninsula receives about 40 to 50 inches of rain a year, with most of it occurring during the “wet season” (June – October). Living in Florida is more like living in the Tropics than it is like living in the rest of the U.S. where there are four distinct seasons. Here we really just have two distinct seasons: a wet and a dry (November – May). During the dry season, many of our small streams go completely dry (we call these intermittent or ephemeral systems). Only our larger creeks and rivers are wet all year long. Yup, this is one of the many nerdy things we have been studying over the years.

sat-FL

Florida peninsula, just waiting to be pummeled

horse creek

Horse Creek overbank

Florida is just the perfect storm for storms, if you will -– the excessively hot summer temperatures heat up our large expanses of water, causing water to evaporate and form large clouds that then drop rain all over the state as the winds from the Gulf and the Atlantic blow the storms across the state. And obviously Florida is just hanging out in the middle of those two water bodies, just waiting there in the wide open to get hit by a hurricane. Oh joy! So overflowing rivers and creeks are a very natural occurrence in Florida, and Florida streams are often overbank for a good chunk of the year. These flood events help “shape” the river and its floodplain and help cycle nutrients (food). Throughout Florida’s history, many streams and wetlands have been ditched to get water off a property. This takes away an important ecological component, one that Jacque and I are often working to restore. So maybe all this rain isn’t so bad and I should just hush. And pat Jacque on the back for being right. Again. Dangit!

Plunder Branch near Hwy62

Getting wet is fun!

Have a great weekend everyone! Even if it means getting a little wet 🙂

Lesson: Canoe Camping

Back in October, my husband and I (and our beagle) went on a canoe camping adventure down the beautiful Santa Fe River. Because we were turtlescelebrating both my birthday and our anniversary, we wanted to do something epic. And epic it was! We paddled 15 miles over the course of two days, taking our time to fish, swim, and enjoy the passing scenery… cypress-lined banks, turtles sunning themselves, wading birds feeding, crystal clear springs… what more could you want out of a weekend?

We began our adventure at the Canoe Outpost in High Springs, Florida (http://santaferiver.com/). Here we were able to rent a canoe, arrange a down-river pick up time and spot for the following day (since we were camping overnight), and park our car. The Outpost was awesome. Not only was the staff really friendly and knowledgeable, they even had wheelbarrows available so you could haul your stuff down to the river! And since we were camping, we had a lot of stuff! It’s amazing how much you can fit into a single canoe. Once we were loaded, off we went to begin our adventure.

naked ed2As I mentioned before, we took our time paddling down the river and even stopped to swim a few times. Wait, swimming in October?! That’s right! The Santa Fe River has tons of springs along its course that pump crystal clear groundwater out at a constant temperature of 72 degrees. Now that’s still cold, but it’s certainly do-able (especially if you’re a Chick with Ticks)! One of the springs we took a dip in was Lily Springs. This spring is quite unique because there is a 60-year old man named Naked Ed who lives in a hut and spends his days watching over the spring. And guess what, he lives up to his name! As we turned off the main river to paddle up to the spring run, there was Naked Ed in all his glory! He was very friendly and knowledgeable, and you can learn more about him here: http://www.sptimes.com/News/081300/Floridian/The_wild_man_of_Lilly.shtml or here: http://stateofwater.org/people/naked-ed/

At the end of the Day 1, after paddling just over 7 miles, we pulled off the river and set up camp in a beautiful spot right cold!on the river bank. Because parts of the floodplain are owned by the state, you’re actually allowed to just pull off and camp in these areas. Granted it’s primitive with no bathrooms or showers, but it won’t kill you to pee in the woods and skip a shower for a night! We set up our tent, gathered up some firewood (there was plenty in the floodplain forest), and cooked ourselves some hotdogs and s’mores. We even had folding chairs to sit on! That’s the great thing about canoe camping, and probably something most people don’t realize: you can fit a TON of stuff in a canoe. And the best part is you don’t have to carry it! Just plop it in the boat and off you go!

When we woke up the next morning, we lit another fire and ate some more s’mores (I probably shouldn’t admit that). Then we pushed off andcamp view enjoyed the last 7 miles of our trip. At mile 15, the Canoe Outpost picked us up and shuttled us back to our car. Honestly, it was really easy, and I think it’s an adventure that sounds impossible but is completely do-able! In fact, the Chicks with Ticks are planning to host a canoe camping adventure in March (more details on that to come). Hope to see you there!eric+zelda+gear

You know we all want to make things better. We want to make a positive difference. I just couldn’t hold my tongue any longer!

Some will survive without your intervention.Stop “saving” things please. I am just as guilty as you! Today I “saved” a softshell turtle that was enjoying a muddy swim during a heavy downpour. Saved is probably not what the turtle felt. It probably felt scared, man handled, and slightly confused as to why I took it out of the muddy yummy road and put it on the dry grassy roadside.

Rare things don’t always need us to save them.

I also have co-workers who “save” a lot of plants. Some of these plants grace their desks or cubicles in a modge podge of dishes filled with weird materials….they always look out of place….after all, we don’t work in a temperate wetland forest or damp meadow….it is a flourescent lighted, air-conditioned, dry, urban office space. Not at all what most orchids consider lovely.

I know our hearts are in the right place, but I just can’t take it any more. These things we feel we are saving have a proper place. A place where they belong – it’s probably not your desk or the bed of a truck or even a roadside.

Some of these things are going to die. They are going to wither when the limb they were attached to falls in a storm, they will get smashed by a truck, they will cease to grow. It’s okay! Really. The circle of life will continue for almost all of them without our interference.

It’s going to be difficult for you to stop. Some of you are addicted! I know you so don’t try to hide it. We will work through this together. Maybe we will form a sort of support group….Savers Annonymous….just give it a go. Please!

Taunting us from outside our window...

Jacque and I were moping around the office the other day, wondering why we were more unmotivated than usual. And then it hit us: we had spring fever, a BAD case of it. Not only had we been stuck working on projects that required us to be in the office rather than in the beloved field, but we had also just pushed our clocks forward giving us an extra hour of daylight. Yet here we were, trapped in the artificial light of the office. So we decided to do something about it. We vowed that the next day we would spend our lunch hour (also known as “Lunchingtons”) actually going OUTSIDE.

Murky waters

What a novel idea. Our office does, afterall, sit right on the shore of Lake Bently, a little lake that we had completely taken for granted as it stared at us through our office windows for YEARS now.  While its water is more green than blue and its shoreline is highly developed with storm water drains jutting out every few hundred feet (it has a high LDI for any limnology nerds out there), it is home to birds, gators, fish, and even otters! So why not call it our home as well, at least for an hour?

Happy Jacque!

The excitement of our looming adventure got us through the morning grind, and at noon on the dot we grabbed our lunch (that Jacque had deliciously prepared) and our craigslist-purchased kayaks and off we slid into the murky waters. Within moments we were in another world. Just yards away stood our office building, staring back at us with its mirrored windows, hiding the sterile lights and jealous faces of our co-workers (actually, they probably just thought we were crazy). We paddled happily towards wood ducks and pelicans and ibises and limpkins and cormorants and ospreys and turtles and cypress trees and butterflies. We soaked up the sun and felt the breeze on our faces.

We returned to our offices 59 minutes later, refreshed and more than a little stinky. But we didn’t care. We had cured spring fever, at least for an hour. Do you have any tricks for curing spring fever? CWT would love to hear about it!

We work in some crazy ass places. Some of you will say, “Tut tut – we do that all the time”. Super! Then you will understand when I say that there are some things that happen that just plain HURT! The things that can hurt you come in many shapes and sizes. I thought it would be helpful to list some of the things THAT CAN HURT YOU.

Smilax or Catbriar - This one hurts pretty badly and is tough

Thorns – So many plants have thorns. You don’t realize how many until you sweat in the places they have gotten you.

Insects – Giant water bugs, carpenter ants, caterpillars, wasps, and other creepies

Logs – under water, unseen, these are not your friend – snake boots help protect your shins!

Bark – rougher than it looks! Inside of the thigh is my least favorite spot for bark to scrape.

Tree limbs – when you have on a baseball cap or hard hat and duck – wham!!

Violated by a Cypress Knee? Call 1-800-SIT-ONIT

Sunscreen – RIGHT! You are thinking “How can sunscreen hurt?” Just sweat your balls off and wipe it in your eyes…then call me.

Unknown pokey things – yep – pokey things – reaching into aquatic plans you grab all sorts of weird pokey things.

Fish – Especially catfish. Teeth, barbs, fins and all other sharp edges.

Cypress Knees – I recently had a nasty surprise when I accidentally landed on my rear ON A SMALL KNEE….needless to say – I will never be the same.

Seeds – Mostly sweet gum seeds but there are a few others that hurt under bent knees.

Cogan grass – had to list this one on its own – SHARP – I once got seven slices before I knew what happened.

Yes – there is a lot out there. This year alone – we have had a lot of run-ins with caterpillars but I will leave that for another day.

white-caterpillar -- no ID

The duct tape would have helped!!

Lots of things can hurt – be safe, look before you leap, use the stick – stick it in first duh! Have fun and get out there and GO ANYWHERE!!

 

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