Well, it wouldn’t be a day in the field without mud. Yeah! Mud comes into our lives and really never leaves. Somehow, it gets into all the cracks and crevices, seeps into socks and pockets, and probably gets places we don’t really want to talk about here but we will! So here are some handy-dandy tips for what to do if you find yourself about to enter, covered with, or full of MUD!!

  1. There are different grades of mud. Muddy water is NOT mud – mud sticks to you, clings to everything and usually smells terrible. Anything else is NOT mud but a rather poor substitute.
  2. When you are going to be in mud that is crotch deep, make sure you have on tight underwear. The very thought of mud going into THOSE places is disgusting…..!
  3. Mud may be good for your skin IF IT COMES FROM THE DEAD SEA – not if it comes from hog infested Florida swamps or chemical infected dirty urban water.
  4. You don’t want to know what’s in that mud! Trust me….don’t even think about it.
  5. White stuff that looks like mud is not mud – it’s worse – it’s bullshit. It won’t come out of anything and will ruin your perfectly good snake boots that you learned to buy in a previous lesson – stay away if you can. Like us, if you can’t stay away, rinse your boots well. If, like us, you don’t rinse your boots well and the zippers don’t work – SHUT UP – you could have rinsed your boots!

    Muddingtons!!

  6. Not sure how deep that mud/bog is? THAT’S WHY THEY CALL THEM STICKS – DUH!! If you haven’t learned that by now – you obviously skipped previous lessons to read this crap!
  7. If your yard stick goes in and does not hit bottom, consider where the bottom is….!!!
  8. If you happen to think of wearing booted waders in deep, sticky mud – THINK AGAIN!! You will hate yourself when it’s all over! Trust me on this one. You will never get where you need to go without crawling on top of that friggin mud in those hot waders!!
  9. Mud can be sneaky. You may have on seven layers of protection from mud – when you take off those new socks – they will be black with mud! If you were smart – you would have listened to Chapter 1 – socks can be worn for days or even weeks – then tossed. MUD is why!
  10. You are thinking, “Jacque, what if I fall down in the mud and can’t get up?” Too f-ing bad – you need to turn over once you stop laughing at yourself and crawl until you can get up!

I hope these little tips have been helpful. I have a lot of experience in and around mud. If you get stuck (no pun intended) and need advice – feel free to comment….!

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