You know, that Foxworthy guy has nothing on Chicks with Ticks and we thought you oughta know jest how we do it out in the swamps. There ain’t nuttin’ like shooting the breeze with a true Florida cowboy. Not the kind that jest thinks he’s got cowboy boots and a buckle. The kind that cuts out cows and knows a good roper when he sees one.
Some of you are wonderin’ what the hell I’m a talkin’ ’bout. Well, when you tromp out in the Florida wilds, you meet some mighty fine folks. Not all of them know the scientific names for the trees they fell to rotate calfin’ fields. Most of ‘em know more ’bout making hay and tellin’ yarns….so here’s some tips so you don’t look like an idgit talkin’ to ‘em.
- Ain’t is too a word. Always has been.
- If you done did something – it’s done.
- Spittin’ ain’t rude. It’s necessary when ya chaw or dip. If you don’t chaw or dip – what do ya do?
- There ain’t nuttin’ rude about talkin’ bout the weather. Everthang we do is ‘fected by the weather.
- Cutting out cows ain’t got nuttin’ to do with knifin’. It’s how we separate cows for thangs like breeding, market, etc…
- If ya can’t understand what a cowboy says….jest say, “Yup” a lot, nod, and go “Woowee” ever now and again. No one will know the better. Jest be polite.
- If ya can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em. That’s right, jest start relaxin’ the ends of all ya words. Make anythang have a twang. Purdy soon, ya’ll will be one of ‘em.
- Cowboys like purdy women. You don’t gotta be done up. Just a women. That makes ya purdy! Gotta love it!
I hope this lesson comes in handy. i know it will in South Florida where there’s a least one cowboy we spent a lot of time with. Can’t tell ya his name but I know he’s still out there and I can’t wait to visit again and shoot the breeze.