That’s right….I have been watching the guys play Plants vs. Zombies on the Xbox. “But Jacque, why aren’t you playing,” you might ask….BECAUSE I CAN’T SEEM TO FIGURE OUT THE BUTTONS. I get all excited and end up spending my 5 minutes of combat looking at my cactus feet or the zombot.
But, what it got me thinking was this – WHAT PLANTS WOULD I WANT WITH ME IN THE EVENT OF A ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE? So, here it goes, the yummy wild things you could find in the nearest woods….while not accidently eating something that will zombify you.
This article is for entertainment – please do not consume any wild plants without proper knowledge or experience. This can prove to be dangerous and even fatal. Some plants must be prepared in a particular manner prior to consumption. I want to tell you funny stories – not how to harvest them. See above reference!!!
Once upon a time, Kristen listened to John and ate the tender tips of a smilax vine. Most people call it a oh SH*T vine – it’s light green and has horrible thorns….but you can eat the tender tips of the vines. It appears that not everyone should do this – ended in well – the RUNS.
Palmetto bushes seem tough and rough – but you can actually pull out the middle new growth shoot and chew on the bottoms…..only trouble – it’s hell getting them out!
Blackberries are yummy if you want stained teeth and seeds for days….if you rubbed them on your teeth you might actually pass for a zombie.
Wild blueberries of any kind are delicious when RIPE….early morning dew and some warm sunshine make for a very nice start to the day. Remember to leave some for the wildlife.
Florida has an abundance of wild citrus. Even in the most remote areas you might find a tree or two in a stand of oaks – caution – have Josh Raysin cut and taste first….lol! This will save you from having the nastiest taste in your mouth. Not all wild citrus tastes like sunshine. They taste like….well – ask Josh!!
There are so many more….but this should get you through the first night of total horror! It appears that zombies don’t eat plants. So, you should be able to fill the belly.
When the zombies attack, it is my recent experience that you should grab your pea Gatlin gun (classic of course) and be the berry shooting pea shooter and go for it! The Zombies don’t have a chance….!
As always – don’t ever eat or drink anything that you are not absolutely familiar with. If you want to see what might happen – you can search Tracy Layton’s camping video on YouTube. He’s is a very experienced wild eater and his latest venture went VERY wrong….it’s entertainment and teaching from poor example at its best. A dear friend almost got into a serious situation from consuming wild plants.
A MUST SEE!!!!